The dreaded breakup text: you’ve either sent one yourself or been on the receiving end, but either way you slice it, it’s not fun. What a breakup text often is, though, is necessary, because if someone has invested time and effort into getting to know you and you want out, that is totally fair (you shouldn’t date someone you’re not into!), but they probably deserve to know why. Is ghosting the easier way out? Yes. But is it The Nice Thing To Do? Not really.
Psychotherapist and relationship expert Rhonda Richards-Smith says people ghost mainly because either 1) the thought of hurting someone’s feelings makes them too anxious to even send a text, or 2) they don’t know how to cope with the feelings that come from a breakup.
“Unfortunately, when lots of time and energy is being spent coping with loss or multiple crises, sending a breakup text may simply be too much for an individual to manage at that time.” Which—again, valid. But if the reason you’re ghosting isn’t because you’re dealing with a crisis and just has to do with not wanting to hurt their feelings, remember: Ghosting is still going to hurt their feelings. It might even hurt more, so you might as well be upfront.